From as far back as I can remember, I have felt awkward in this world, that I was different and didn’t belong. I felt very disconnected from my family, and at a young age would tell people I was adopted. I was sure that I was from another place. I would see things and feel things that didn’t jive with what people were telling me. And although I had been having these experiences throughout my life, I had denied them or explained them in a way that was appropriate to our culture.
Only within the last fifteen years have I been in a place to remember the experiences as real and normal for me. The impetus for that came from Joy S. Gilbert, who had already been through the awakening process. She triggered my own memories and paved a way for me to remember who I really am and integrate my experiences in a useful way. My relationship with Extraterrestrial Beings has been there for a long, long time, way before I was in this body, in this dimension. My being on this planet is purposeful for my own evolution and the evolution of humanity.
My first recollection of being taken was when I was four years old. I used to play a game of hide and seek with my older sister. I would lie down behind the sofa and yell for her to come find me. On this occasion, it was sometime after lunch, I crouched down in my usual place behind the sofa. The next thing I remember was someone’s voice saying that they could see the curtains moving.
I then saw the image of my father’s boots coming behind the sofa and the curtains parting to allow his passage. I then became aware of many voices, cheering and shouting that I had been found. The living room was full of family and neighbors and there was clearly relief as they saw me. They told me how happy they were to see me and how long they had been looking and that there were still many people out in the dark looking for me. I could see big, bright lights outside and hear a crowd of people. I was told it was a tv station with their equipment.
The 10:00 news was coming on, which meant that I had been missing for maybe eight hours or so. As I watched the news, I heard them talking about me and saw a picture of myself on the screen. It was the picture that my dad kept on his office desk. Search teams, including law enforcement, had been looking for me for hours and had thoroughly scoured the house, including behind the sofa. The story of the situation was that I must have fallen asleep before I called to my sister to find me. And that I was in-between the curtains so they couldn’t see me. This story made sense to everyone. And even though I repeated the story, I knew it wasn’t true. I had been somewhere else but at that time, I couldn’t remember.
What I am now aware of is that after I crouched down behind the sofa, I was aware of a white light. It was a beam of light outside and I began floating towards it. I moved into the beam. During this time, I don’t remember anyone else with me. Instantly, I was inside the ship. It had curved silvery corridors, dimly lit. Next thing I remember was a female being with me, taking me to a certain place on the ship. This was all familiar to me and I wasn’t scared. It felt natural. I was going to have my body worked on. The way we moved was like floating above the ground. I remember seeing other beings/shapes of light floating/moving in the same manner. We went to a large room with many tables. I knew one was for me.
As I was in my twenties, I began to suspect that I had been sexually abused or raped as a child. I didn’t have an event or details in my mind, but I had a strong feeling that such events had occurred. I had heard of other women who had been raped as a child and suppressed the memory until it emerged later in their lives. So, I suspected my father. I didn’t have any evidence, but couldn’t think of anyone else it could have been. The thought of this became disturbing enough for me to seek therapy.
After a couple of sessions, there was still nothing that pointed to my father, or anyone else. Some years later during a hypnotherapy session, I remembered an abduction experience where I was on a table on a ship having gynecological work done. I was in a room with round silver walls and dim lighting around the outside. I was aware of other beings in the room. There was a being on the right side of me, leaning over me, working on my body. Although “he” didn’t have a specifically male body, his presence felt male. “He” had a tiny body with spindly arms, and a large head, with big eyes. I had the thought that the procedure should be painful, but I didn’t feel any physical pain. Even though this was a familiar situation, and I knew it was necessary, I was not liking it!
I live in Montana, and I remember an experience near my home at that time, of being on a ship. It was a small ship and my memory is of driving it. We were moving south over the north end of Flathead Lake. There was someone there I recognized, and others that I’m not sure of. I didn’t see any control panel, which was normal, as I knew the ship didn’t operate that way. We were angling down toward the water. When the ship hit the water, there was no feeling of impact, no jolt or jostling. I could see the water dispersing around the ship as we moved through it, but there was no impact on the ship.
We were merging through the molecules. We travelled down to the depths of the lake and approached a huge ship. It was city-like, translucent. We pulled into what felt like a loading area in the lower portion of the ship/city. I could see these light, translucent, tall structures. I was immediately in a light/translucent tube, moving to a higher level of the ship. It transported me to an area of the ship that had rows, and rows, and rows of suspended see-through containers of liquid with small bodies in them. These bodies were receiving nourishment and sustenance while in these containers. There was a Being there, that as I approached, turned and looked at me. It was more of a connection through the eyes than a visual thing.
As I felt the connection, I was penetrated and saturated with an overwhelming sense of Love, through my whole being. “He” conveyed to me that these bodies were supporting us on earth, that I had a specific job to do on earth and it was critical that I do it. I must evolve and help others to evolve.
On another occasion, when I was living in a rural area, out among open fields, I was awakened by a loud crack and a light outside. I was lying on my back in my bed, “seeing” and knowing there was a ship out there, but I couldn’t move to go to the window to look out, and yet I could “see” it. Then I could feel my body floating above the bed. It was like I could see through two sets of eyes…one from within my body above the bed, and I could also see my body floating above the bed as an observer from a few feet away.
A more recent event that I experienced was of suddenly waking up during the night where I was lying on my right side facing the sliding glass door to the outside, which was covered by thick curtains. There was a presence on that side of the bed, who felt male, and I felt other beings nearby. I was paralyzed. It seemed like I was in that place for a really long time. Things were going on, but I couldn’t discern what. Behind me, I could hear the door open a crack and my Teacher call my name softly. I couldn’t move or turn my head to see her, yet I was comforted by hearing her voice. I remember a feeling of resignation to it all, and at the same time an appreciation for a love I felt.