Sexuality & Alien Abduction

 Sexuality & Alien Abduction

Please keep in mind as you read this page that there IS a BIGGER PICTURE, than the small mind that we humans seem to project out onto the world around us. Further I have held off sharing many of these traumatic type experiences because people were and are already in profound states of fear in relationship to this phenomena. I did not want to add to the confusion and suffering that people already exist in, since I have already found understanding and peace with all these physical events.

The human brain is naturally biased to negative experiences as part of our human survival. Consequently, we experience negative events with greater intensity, within our lives. This internal focus can be changed with work and effort to see the beauty around us. This effort will raise our consciousness. 

(This page is still in process and not completed.)

My childbearing years began around 1959 until my ova was gone in 1993, according to what the Beings told me when I was taken in January 31st of 1993. But, I hadn’t experienced any menstrual cycles for years before that night in Sisters, Oregon. I was aware of the physical things that were happening to me, but I was unaware as to how, why, where or what was happening to me. I only knew that something was happening. So, my teen years and early twenties were marked by many events that would bleed into my day to day life causing me a great deal of confusion and profound distress. There was only one boy in particular that the Beings would pair me with and use our genetic material to create other, human children.

I never ever saw anything but Human children that I had been involved in creating. These events were particularly difficult because they would interfere with my day to day life. While I remember many things from those years that were a part of my relationship with these Beings, I just don’t think I can say everything here! But, I will try! 

The “star seeds”, “star children” or “star people” are described by Brad and Francie Steiger as individuals whose ‘souls’ were formally incarnated on the worlds of other star systems. They have come to Earth with the express purpose of incarnating in human form on Earth to spiritually uplift the evolutionary development of Humanity.

Those who comprehend this phenomena understand that these Extraterrestrials are benevolent and are interested in human evolution.  Those of us who fall into this category of Experiencers/Alien Abductees could be referred to as “Starseeds” and “Contactees”. We often have physical evidence on our person and/or pictures and videos, like the ones I provide on my website. Further, there are often witnesses to our CONTACT or the aftermath of CONTACT.

As I address Sexuality & Alien Abduction, I will endeavor to be as upfront and candid as possible. However, please recognize that these are profoundly personal and intimate experiences.  I will make an effort to come back to this page from time to time, to further clarify the human feelings and frailties that many Experiencers/Alien Abductees are forced to address.

I believe that part of the reason this is all so shocking is because we humans have believed for eons that we were the only ones in the Universe and the only intelligent entities! Also, we have believed, wrongly, that  we were in control of our own destiny. Further, we humans “think” that our bodies, like the rest of creation, belong to us. We have a perception of ownership, attached to a creation that ultimately we must admit, we did not create.


I am not interested in sharing these events to give anyone some perverse enjoyment or use these experiences to sexualize women or men. These are just events that have occurred to me and continue to occur to some Experiencers/Alien Abductees both male and female. In sharing this information I hope it can help others deal with the disparity between their perception of our life experience, as it is taught here in this culture and what is truly happening, which had led to confusion and shock for myself for many years. Throughout many years of my life, I have looked at our culture and the world we created askance, wondering who or what we all thought we were?

Within the Alien Abduction Scenario, associated with sexuality for myself, it appeared that the Beings saw its existence as distinctly perfunctory. Their work with DNA and genetic manipulation existed to create conscious life, not  for the sexual experience itself. Throughout all the years of my involvement on this level with the Beings, there was only one instance where a male had also been brought to the ship and was paired  with me only one time during all of my procreation years. 

Procreation needs were always met on a purely scientific level. The children were conceived through the manipulation of DNA. After which they were placed in my uterus for a two to three month period. They were then removed and I rarely had contact with those children ever again, because as I will explain those fetuses and some of the embryos were implanted into other women within this dimension.

While these events were occurring during my early years, I could not understand what was happening to me. During the day I would remember things happening in flashes that I perceived as shocking or surprising. I would just dismiss them, trying to put those uncomfortable thoughts out of my mind completely. I would remember things, memories of physical events pushing through into my conscious awareness, like I would see metallic beds and flashes of blue white light. But, these memories and events did not connect to my understanding of the world, as I was taught within this dimension. Although, I always tried to fit into my culture of origin, I always felt there was something really off going on around me.

There were memories of these events bleeding through, into my conscious awareness and my daily life! When the Et Beings finally revealed themselves completely to me in an Alien Abduction Event on January 31, 1993, everything I had experienced in my life came into focus. All my life experiences became very clear both what I perceived as good and what I might have perceived as bad became one thing. It was like a flood of memories and experiences that all finally came together creating a vision of the world I lived in and those events that had existed outside my understanding for so many years.  But, without a doubt the physical, sexual events were the most devastating to integrate and to deal with in my life, previous to Awakening.

The Sexuality associated with Alien Abduction is a topic that I have not wished to share openly. I was able to say somethings about it in my book, “It’s Time to Remember; A Riveting Story of One Woman’s Awakening to Alien Beings.” However, I did not go into any real detail or share too many specifics.  I can say that I have received a great deal of ardor and love from the Beings as a participant in this project. That is, there seems to be a great affection for the work that I have been willing to subject my body to while living in this dimension.

The Beings are profoundly loving and care for me in a way that I cannot begin to speak. One of the reasons for this is the fact that I willingly accepted the task of allowing my body to be used to create hundreds if not thousands of Human Beings who have been genetically altered to achieve Enlightened and Awakened States of Consciousness within this dimensional reality, to elevate the consciousness of humankind, which is in dyer need of upliftment.

At this point, it feels essential to address this topic for people who have been involved in the Experiencer/Alien Abduction Phenomena, who may not realize their connection and/or know how to deal with their intense reactions and underlying emotions that are associated with the sexual aspects of our contact with Extraterrestrials & Interdimensional Beings. 

Too often Experiencers/Alien Abductees find themselves seeing a clinician without any conscious awareness or memory of their experiences. They often recognize that there is something off in their intimate relationships, without really understanding what or why? So, in an effort to meet these unsettling memories, which seem to bleed into our every day lives from our unconscious cellular memory, I naturally like others in my situation sought out conventional therapy.

Therapy within western cultures is the avenue that most commonly meets issues surrounding mental and emotional pain, or confusion and conflict. I can say with complete sincerity that this approach was disastrous for myself and many other Experiencers/Alien Abductees that I have had contact with throughout the years. It only highlighted the profound chasm within western culture and our human soul. However, I did continue to seek out therapeutic support throughout my life in the hope that maybe I could find some resolution to these events. I thought  maybe it might help. IT NEVER DID…….

Initially, I couldn’t figure out why these feelings and physical experiences were present or even happening. I did not attribute the physical things I was experiencing to the Beings that I perceived were my guardian angels, teachers and real family, who I was aware that I had been in contact with my entire life. I would just put all the strange, unsettling experiences and thoughts out of my mind, as I was able. Then, I would try to place my full mental focus on moving forward in my life. I was always assessing how I could make my life better. Then, of course like everyone on this little planet, I needed to deal with the day to day necessities, which in many ways was overwhelming.

During my teen years the Beings would take me and harvest my ova. They would then manipulate my ova to enhance its DNA. When the timing was right they would pick me up again and an embryo would be placed into my womb for 2 to 3 months. Of course, during these moments I was unaware of exactly what was happening. However, I was not completely unaware. As a consequence these memories, in part would flood into my waking states of consciousness. I would  have intense reactions to the sight of metallic surfaces of any kind, instruments in a dentists office or medical office, whether I saw them on TV or at the fast food restaurant I worked at during high school.

When they took me on January 31st 1993 and I experienced a completely conscious Alien Abduction Event, they came back 11 days later in their ship over my home and told me that they had implanted me into my mother. They said, “You are ours and not your mothers”. And even in all the shock, I was ecstatic because for the first time in my life I knew who I was and where I had come from. They continued saying in their sweet sing song voices that, “You are in this world but not of it”. Again, I was beyond grateful to have that knowledge, not just from a thinking place or from them telling me, but because I knew that it was true. 

The fast food restaurant I worked in, part-time during high school, had a back area where the food was prepared and it was all steel surfaces. After an incident of being taken by the Beings, my next shift at work would cause me so much distress and terror that I would have panic attacks. There were a few times that I needed to go to the hospital. I could not bring the two worlds I lived in together.

The world I lived in with the Beings was loving, kind and we were all aware, each of us, that we are interconnected. There was absolutely no sense of separation when I was in that world with my people. But in this physical dimension I was unable to Remember they were with me, even though they were standing right beside me. I felt abandoned by my people and very, very alone. The cellular memory within my body did remember and would share some of that information and those memories with my conscious awareness from time to time.

The doctors tested me for epilepsy and other issues but found nothing physically wrong with me. So, I was prescribed some mild sedatives, which never addressed the feelings or confusion I was experiencing. Finally, when I was 16 years old I reached my limit and tried to commit suicide. I awoke in a Catholic hospital with my feet and hands tied to my bed. I remember looking up and seeing the cross over the doorway with Jesus being crucified and I felt an intense shame. The Beings told me that I was to never, under any circumstances, take my life. It wasn’t mine to take, they told me. “Your life does not belong to you. It belongs to Creation/God”. I understood what they were telling me completely and while I never tried to take my life again, risky behaviors did not end that night. 

My doctor who I loved was Chinese and he came into see me in the hospital with a great deal of angst. I could feel that he didn’t know what to do with me or for me. But I knew he cared deeply about my circumstances but had no way to help me. Then my father came to pick me up and before we left the hospital as I was lying in that bed, he just said, “We will not speak of this to anyone and we will not speak of this again”. For me that was a gift. So, no one in my family besides my father ever knew what had happened that night, or what I had done. But, I knew!  I also knew that I could never do something like that again. I knew at the moment that I awoke and when the Beings conveyed those ideas and thoughts to me that I was here to accomplish something. I knew that I would know when it was time.

The problem of course being, that we in this western culture do not have a context for these paranormal experiences and so they are relegated to either what might be considered fringe dwellers in the paranormal or psychological issues, like, “Oh, you must have been sexually abused as a child and it was so traumatic for you that you blocked it out.” Well, I can say unequivocally that these experiences were far more devastating than an experience of sexual assault, not that that isn’t devastating and traumatic enough.

When the Beings took me and I experienced a completely conscious Alien Abduction Event, my world was shattered, gone! I knew that I could never go back to my life the way it had been. My body, my cellular memory understood and so did another part of me, my essence and soul. But my ego and the aspects of myself that were enculturated within this dimension did not have any context for the experiences that I lived.

Within the constructs and ideas that the ego learns in this dimension these Beings do not exist. So, placing these experiences into some kind of understanding without any external support was very hard. But, it made me very, very strong, inside myself and able to handle the cultural misunderstandings of what is perceived as physical intrusions, both surgeries and procreation, from the Beings, while living in a world of humans that have no awareness of what is happening within our Universe.

Of course studying with Maharishi and the Tibetan Lamas was my greatest gift. Even though there were times that I felt abandoned and lost I was truly guided every step of the way. Throughout my life there have been guides and teachers showing up sometimes in a moment and then disappearing and sometimes there forever, to direct and guide me. These Teachers provided my intellect, my mind and my heart with the ability to create a context to understand what was happening to me, along with the knowledge I was able to tap into that already existed deep inside my very cells.

Imagine you go to sleep at night and you are then Taken into another world/dimension where you have a whole life, with responsibilities and a job to do. Imagine that a part of that life involves the creation of new life, through YOUR physical body in this dimension or this physical reality! You are living in another world and carrying on a whole other life. Ironically, when you are in that other world, you are fully aware and conscious of your infinite nature and infinite mind. You recognize yourself as having the ability to live  in multiple dimensions simultaneously with complete conscious awareness. But when you are in this physical dimension, you are not aware of the other worlds you are living in.

So, when you go to sleep in this world you find yourself awakening into another world/dimension, entirely different than the physical world. Then, when you awaken in this physical world, you don’t remember what happened during your sleep until you DNA is Activated. Yet, you absolutely know that something is happening to you. I experienced memories and flashes of events that were literally bleeding through my physical cells, into my conscious mind. They did not seem to make any sense in the context of the physical world I was living. I could not comprehend what was happening. I only, absolutely knew that SOMETHING was happening to me mentally, emotionally and physically!

I think the reason clinicians and much of humanity has a hard time with this phenomena, is because they cannot comprehend the reality and existence of multiple layers of creation, the concept of parallel Universes, or the reality that humanity is not the most intelligent species within the Universe. Most of the western human populations believe that these experiences represent mental illness or a break with reality. They cannot, it seems, fathom that these profound,  paranormal events are happening in reality to our physical bodies. It is much more comforting for them to believe that we are out of our minds!

Beyond any doubt, there is a plethora of physical proof available for those who will actually take the time to research this phenomena. However, within western cultures there seems to be large numbers of people who are not even willing to ask the questions that might provide them with real answers. Rather, they accept the status quo and the perceptions of others, without any due diligence.  If people do not want to believe something, they will go to any length to discredit it, no matter the preponderance of evidence.

When I was a young girl I was profoundly disturbed, realizing as I looked around my environment that there was absolutely nothing within my culture that even eluded to these types of human experiences, I absolutely knew I was having. Imagine, how terrifying that feeling can be? So, is the difficulty that we Experiencers/Alien Abductees have to deal with truly our issues, alone? Or is the culture that we live in based on all lies? Is the culture we live in even aware? Or is it just that we have all been asleep for so long and we are profoundly ignorant, to what is happening in our Universe, within our consciousness, within all sentient life and not the least of which is our profound lack of understanding regarding the Human Experience on this little planet? 

My only solace during those years, with the flashes of memories bleeding through and into my conscious awareness, was to seek out teachings from different cultures where these types of experiences and awareness’ were a part of their ancient traditions, their knowledge and their teachings. I did study Christianity and Judaism, but found within Hinduism, Buddhism, Sufism and Indigenous Cultures an expansive, inclusive wisdom that allowed for all things within and outside our  perceptual parameters, to be a part of a Universal Consciousness within a model of Human Evolution. It was through those teachings, those exquisite Yogis with their profoundly, deep knowledge, along with the guidance I experienced from the Extraterrestrials that brought me into a state of Enlightenment. 

I was able to AWAKEN not only to who these Extraterrestrials are, but I went into a state of ENLIGHTENMENT, becoming aware of what had been happening not only to myself but what was happening within this Universe and on our little planet. Obviously, over the many years of my life I have been watching the behavior of human beings. I have come to SEE that our unwillingness to think of the well-being of others, as ourselves and our planet, has led us into a disastrous situation. Humanity has the ability to evolve and grow beyond the Reptilian Brain, however we have chosen only to react in fear and hate. Humanity has lived at barbaric levels of consciousness, reacting to life at the levels of perpetrators and victims.

Until I Awakened and went into Enlightenment I was not consciously aware when I would wake up each morning that I had been working all night in another dimension, in another reality altogether. Although I would often awaken completely exhausted! Still, that other reality is far more expansive and far more profound, then the reality we experience here in the physical world. Ironically, when I did Awaken, I became aware that the life I live in, within those other dimensions is COMPLETE and going into Enlightenment brought all those worlds and dimensions together here within my physical form, my body, my mind and my awareness. Within that reality and the other dimensions together, I had complete awareness of myself as an aspect of creation, projected into this world from another Universe and perceived as, the individual aspect that is Joy. 

Before I awakened there were very clear consequences to the actions that I was involved in within my life and within the dimensions I lived when the Beings would Take me. With the Et Beings and  in their dimensions, I realized that that was my REAL SELF, my Authentic Self! I realized that I was attempting to bring the levels of consciousness that I experienced in those worlds and dimensions into this physical reality. However, realizing something was happening to me without my awareness and understanding before I Awakened, I attempted to intercede within the issues that I felt I could not resolve. The issues I experienced just didn’t fit with what the culture, my family, my church or my educational institutions were telling me.

During those times, when I would realize I was being Taken at night or even during the day, I still did not fully realize, or remember the physical, sexual aspects associated with being Taken or that I was a part of and experiencing, until the Et Beings told me, “It was time to Remember” in 1993. 

Although, I experienced the paranormal and the supernatural throughout my life, it caused me to feel a conflict between the physical world I lived in and the events often taking place at night. It was very clear to me that these experiences were not acceptable to the society and culture I was living in. Maybe people would talk about these things for amusement and entertainment, but you weren’t really allowed to have any experiences or inner awareness, especially if the people around you were not having these experiences. Because if they weren’t having them, then you couldn’t be having them. Consequently, there was always a great deal of mental and emotional conflict inside my mind, as well as an awareness within me that seemed in someway related to my physical body and my sexuality.

Of course, I was unaware of what was happening on a fully conscious level. Yet, I was very aware that “something” was happening to me and my body. As a young adult, I began addressing those issues in the late 1960’s and the early 1970’s, through seeing a western, trained clinician and studying western thought, which never brought any resolution or understanding to the feelings and the nature of my experiences that I absolutely knew I was having. It was during the same time that I started meditating and studying with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. However, the meditation and his teachings did give me solace and relief from my confusion. But it didn’t address everything. Still, I was very grateful.

The Experiencer/Alien Abduction Phenomena, certainly back then, was not a topic readily available, as you may know, within our culture or our media. So, I was often very distraught by these events, as well as physically incapacitated, as the memories and feelings within my body would bleed through my dreams, my sleep and my waking states. The memories I experienced were often triggered, (Now of course, I understand.) by visual exposure to shiny metal, certain kinds of light, surgical instruments that I would see laid out on a tray at the dentists, or when I would visit our family physician.  

Of course, I know now why seeking traditional therapy was not the right way to go about dealing with these intense and profoundly shocking events. Yet, it was years before the Extraterrestrials told me to REMEMBER. When I did remember, although it was shocking, it was such a profound relief at the same time. It was very clear to me why therapy could never provide any support or help. It was clear to me why I was driven and guided by the Et Beings to study with Yogis and the metaphysical.

Therapy as I soon realized could never address this phenomenon because it is too small minded and most clinicians are trapped in their intellect,  thinking that they know what they are doing. Not to mention the fact that their training has been created, sustained and maintained in the Illusory World, the “Dream World”. Their focus has been external, worldly and on an intellectual level with absolutely no focus on the development of consciousness or awareness. They operate from the level of the symptom backward, attempting to fix what they assume is wrong.

Often clinicians are so attached to their training and the research aspect of their profession that they do not even see their patients and clients in front of them. Instead, they see their clients or patients as opportunities for their own Ego Gratification and financial well-being. Too often, clinicians are more interested in what they can teach you, to show you how important and special they are, then they are interested in actually helping you evolve through your issues, which I see as their down fall.  In fact, I don’t think I ever took a class in psychology where the words consciousness, awareness or essence played any significant role except on an intellectual level. I have 8 solid years of psychology behind me and in addition I have years of work experience within this culture and training.

Certainly, the clinicians I met had no understanding, connection or even a feeling of awareness toward the concerns I shared with them as a client that was not associated with their dumping, their disgusting perceptions of psychopathology on me. If you do any research  on the Experiencer/Alien Abduction Phenomena you will find a plethora of negative research discrediting our ability to discern our own life experiences. However, these theories have also been disproven over and over again in the research of Dr.  John Mack, Dr. Norman S. Don and many other credible scientists and researchers, who are willing to sacrifice their careers and let go of their perceptions and constructs of the world we live in, as they were taught.

There will always be those who are courageous and willing to risk everything to usher in a new level of awareness, consciousness and promote evolution. It usually doesn’t go well in the beginning for those who are willing to break the barriers of perception and defy the present status quo. A natural cultural and ego response to any new idea that is different then the norm is to reject and impugn it emphatically, in the hopes it will go away. This way no one ever has to change the way they see the world around them. 

While no clinician I saw ever stated that they thought I needed medication or anything of that nature, I also never felt comfortable enough to share everything, especially since I have a background in psychology. The concerns I had with the clinical community came with very good reason. I knew I could not share everything if I wanted to survive.

Many clinicians live in fear of how they appear to society, what others may say and how it might impact their ability to create and maintain their livelihood. They are further encumbered by legal aspects that effect their thinking and their perceptual abilities. If you have ever hung out with therapist or psychologist you know that they are profoundly defined, molded and maintained by the “Dream World” or the Illusory Reality. They are  educated through institutions that maintain the Illusory world. They are so afraid of negatively impacting their financial well-being that many of them would be incapable of benefiting anyone. I see them as no different than stock brokers or engineers. They are clearly unqualified and have insufficient knowledge to address our needs in a productive way as Experiencers/Alien Abductees.

For myself, seeing a psychologist created far more pain and confusion. In the 1980’s he immediately determined that I had been sexually abused at a very young age. Unless you find an aware and competent therapist or psychologist who has also spent a lifetime studying consciousness, evolution, neuroscience, physics and has enough awareness to recognize that creation is filled with layer upon layer of worlds, dimensions and an infinite array of intelligent life, you will be very disappointed. For most Experiencers/Alien Abductees therapy does not help and it can instead have profoundly negative consequences, because it is unconscious and intellectual.

These paranormal events do not happen in this world/dimension. These paranormal events are not a part of the intellect or the physical world as we know it. Instead, they live beyond thinking, beyond the mind of matter and beyond all life in this dimension.

Still, in seeing that psychologist in the 1980’s, he believed that I had been sexually abused. Now,  when you are in pain and confusion you want to find reasons to understand, to make the pain and confusion go away. A part of me just wanted to believe him, because that would  have been so easy. But, I could feel inside myself that there was something wrong with his assessment. Although, I realized that my physical, emotional and mental responses appeared to indicate sexual trauma, I could not remember for the life of me ever being sexually abused by anyone in my family or anyone I may have known. Nor did I feel any significant emotional, mental or physical connection to what he was saying and that can be a very powerful tell.

Still, I tentatively accepted his diagnosis, because I wanted to get through my issues. I desperately wanted to get to the other side of these uncomfortable, nagging feelings and physical issues, where I could find some peace and resolution within myself and with the people I loved. But, listening to what this psychologist said only brought up more questions that wouldn’t go away. I accepted his theories only so far as to investigate for myself what that might look like or how that might have happened. But, his theories created absolutely NO mental, emotional or physical resolution.

It wasn’t until the Beings came for me that night on January 31st, 1993 that I understood what had been happening to me throughout my life. Then, everything I had been experiencing became crystal clear. On the ship that night, the Beings told me “It’s Time to Remember”, and prior to that moment when I was completely aware and awake during this Alien Abduction Event, they had put their instruments into my vagina and womb. Now, their physical entrance into my body was like they were literally parting my molecular structure and yet it was very physical. This happening, when you are completely conscious and aware of everything going on around you is a beyond shocking. This shock propelled me, like I was being shot out of a cannon, into another way of thinking and SEEING the world.

I can assure you that this was not a good moment and yet the irony of that moment was that I was also aware that I had agreed to take on a human body and fulfill these services to meet the needs of the whole Being. You see we, none of us are separate from the Earth who we are killing and destroying. She is calling out to us and those who are asleep on this planet are not listening. Still, it was so shocking to my poor little Ego in those first few moments that my mind could not grasp the “what”, the “where” or the “why” of anything that was happening and yet I knew everything was as it should be.  It was what was really true.

For the first few moment, days, weeks, months and maybe even some years, there was a war going on between the part of me that perceived herself as an aspect of creation  named Joy and my own Universal Awareness and Consciousness. The Universal Awareness and Consciousness had already won because there is no contest. There is no winning or losing. There is only one thing and that is Essence and the manifestation of life from Creation. That part of me that wanted to continue being Joy had already lost and I knew it. Because I had chosen long before I took on a body in this dimension to serve creation.

The irony of it all, to feel such profound love, to finally be back with my REAL people again, even though I realized in those moments that we had never been a part, to know who I was and that I wasn’t crazy at all, to feel all at once such a deep sense of relief and peace within my soul and to finally comprehend why these visions, feelings and physical maladies had been happening to me throughout my life…. I remembered and for that I was profoundly grateful and relieved. I had finally found a completely fulfilling resolution and understanding as to WHAT, WHERE, HOW and WHEN. I knew everything.

I unequivocally knew inside myself, in every cell within my body that this was what was true, not what the world of illusion wanted me to believe and stay trapped in. I Awakened to the Universe and once your body, heart and  mind is opened to the vastness, the incredible infinite mind, the translucent light that holds everything together and the love that keeps creation expanding and exploding in the absolute Nothing, I could NEVER be owned or told that the world exists according to human perception, ever on any level.

It had taken days, months and maybe even years, to bring all these things to the surface of my conscious mind and to open to the truth. Then to a comprehension about what my life has really been about. But, once the Beings told me and showed me what had been happening that night so long ago, I understood and I knew that it was all true. There was absolutely no doubt in my mind and never has been from that moment on… Because within this knowledge my concern for all human and Universal issues dissolved. You see I, as separate from the Universe or Creation itself, no longer exists.

Initially, I wanted to push it from my mind after I awoke the next morning. At first, I did not want to feel it at all. Because I was then struck with another immense awareness, my life as I had perceived it wasn’t real at all, it wasn’t at all what I thought it was and that made me laugh. Not to mention the fact that I realized there are human being children out there in the world that are a part of me. They are a part of my progeny, my DNA and all my experience. Imagine!

First, of all these Beings conveyed to me the fact that Humanity and this Earth is on the brink of devastation and they had been showing me visions, pictures from all over the Earth since I was born into this dimension. I was They who had been teaching me and showing me about the world we live in since I was a small child and I remembered it was them. Then, they shared that I had been a part of a project to propagate humanity with a particular genetic pool.  Yes, I knew that I was involved. But the REALIZATION ON A CONSCIOUS, AWARE LEVEL of your involvement, is very different from the thinking of it. So, then…..I realized that I had been a part of that project, myself.

Then, I realized that I had come from another world and that my body was created the same way the children whose genetic material I contributed to, were created. Further, I was there during the creation of my body and helping with the design, to create the best results possible. Because you see, I am also the Beings. That is, I and many others were created through genetic manipulation and then placed into our human Mothers…..

All of this and much, much, much more comes to you in the flash of a second and you know it is all true. Initially, the least of your problems or concerns revolve around your sexuality! But, you instantly recognize why you have had such a difficult response to relationships with others. I did not have the same feelings or attachment to sexuality the way others seem to be attached here in this culture or dimension.

Going to a mainstream western, psychologist, I was unable to feel any emotional, mental  or  physical resolution. Your body knows what is true, because that information is within your cellular structure and memory. So, looking for some kind of resolution from a Western trained clinician can make you feel more confused and further frustrated by the lack  of understanding or awareness in their approach to your issues. Now, you are not only confronted with your bodies cellular memories of these events, you are given faulty information that does not allow you to come to resolution. You are told your experiences are not real and much,  much more!

For myself, like other Experiencers/Alien Abductees there were also many physical manifestations occurring after each event. You might ask how I knew something was happening? On a conscious level at the time I didn’t understand what was happening. That is, I would experience marks on my body in places that would not be subject to an external bump, like bruises in the shape of finger prints, on the inside of my upper thighs. There would be abrasions inside my mouth, puncture marks, even in one of my eyes, profound pain and ringing in my right ear. When I would go to the doctor to check these symptoms out, they would find nothing wrong. My female anatomy and insides would often feel devastated, even scraped, upon awakening from a night’s sleep.

I am aware now that this phenomena has been operating within all the countries of Earth since the inception of human life. Yet, it has remained outside the pervue of many societies. In particular, western civilizations have not recognized or accepted this phenomenon as relevant or true. I find that even many Ufologist refuse to accept the Experiencer/Alien Abduction phenomena as a part of the Ufo phenomena. Finding support for these intensely intimate realizations and experiences was completely impossible when I was growing up and it isn’t much better today. 

For the Western, traditionally trained psychologists, psychiatrists and other mental health professionals, this phenomena isn’t even on their radar, which makes finding competent support for the sexual aspects related to this phenomenon difficult and slim. This paranormal phenomena is perceived as pathology. (I go into more detail on the Introduction Alien Contact & Human Evolution  page or  the Joy S Gilbert, Contactee page.) The clinical community and the majority of our society sees these experiences, if an Experiencer/Alien Abductee has the courage to even share them, as a symptom of mental illness: such as Schizophrenia, Personality Disorder, screen memories of Childhood Trauma and Abuse, Bipolar Disorder and/or as having Psychosis . 

While Dr. John E. Mack (deceased), a Harvard Professor in Psychiatry, was brave enough to move into these worlds with Alien Abductees, he found that people who have these experiences are not mentally ill at all. Further, it has only been in the last 20 or 30 years that the Alien Abduction Phenomena became an available concept within our cultural environment. Then, to say this phenomenon and it’s sexual aspects is accepted would be a complete misnomer. Any real acceptance or understanding within our culture of this phenomena is a very, long way off, if it ever achieves the status of acceptance and understanding, at all.

Obviously, Experiencers/Alien Abductees continue to be completely denied and negated by the majority of mainstream Western cultures. Certainly, no one I knew had any knowledge of these events as real human experiences until the Betty and Barney Hill story broke describing their experience of contact September 19, 1961, which were never widely accepted as real events. Instead, they were perceived as anomalous experiences that may or may not be true… Many people came out of the woodwork to make certain that their credibility was impugned. Never-the-less, they never backed down or recanted their experiences. As an Experiencer/Alien Abductee myself I know that no one wants to believe these experiences are real, particularly right after they have happened.

Our social environment then and now continues to have absolutely no comprehension of the worlds I and other Experiencers/Alien Abductees were/are living  and experiencing physically, mentally and emotionally. These intensely profound and mind shattering sexual events were bleeding into my life as Joy for what had seemed like, forever. But, at the time, like many Experiencers/Alien Abductees I could not put the whole thing together. I had no clear recollection of what had been happening. Flashes of interfacing with these Ets and Interdimensional Beings often took me over during the course of my daily activities. Often, I would find myself in places of confusion and frustration, surrounding the sexual and reproductive aspects of my human life experience.

I was very aware that something had happened and was continuing to happen on a physical level. Consequently, in the area of understanding relationships and sexuality, I found myself experiencing a gaping conundrum. More to the point, my perception of sexuality as a sacred experience with a man was blown. I knew that this was how the culture expected me to see and experience sex, but that was not how I felt. I really didn’t know how to feel about sexual intimacy. In many ways, I was repelled by the base, organic aspects of human sexuality. On other levels, I was a young female and I was hormonally drawn to sex, naturally.

My repulsion of sex often took me over in an instant and it was not unlike a feeling I had when I was around 4 years old. I had an allergic reaction to something I had eaten or touched and in a flash or so it seemed, I was covered in hives. The hives had reached a point where my throat was closing up, along with my eyes and nose. When the doctor came he gave me two shots and I will never forget the feeling of seeing those needles and thinking to myself, at 4 years old, “how primitive”. Then I thought, “Is this their medicine?” 

A part of me longed to have meaningful, physical contact. But, when anything entered my world that appeared to be associated with sexuality, I would instead feel intense anger and a feeling of being violated. I did not want to be touched. I found relationships with men strained, often to the breaking. There was a sense that I could never let anyone into my life completely or they would find out… Now, I didn’t know what that meant, at the time. But those were the actual thoughts that would go through my mind. I knew that I had to remain unencumbered. While I wanted to fulfill the cultural stereotypes that exist here in this culture I always felt that it was more of an experiment than a living reality, as if I was watching everything that was happening in and around me in order to gather information about human beings.

I remembered meeting a man when I moved to Eugene, Oregon. He was very interested in dating me. He owned a recording studio back east and was in his third year of Law School at the University of Oregon. We met at a Asian Store just before Christmas. He asked me out several times and we spent a few afternoons together talking for some time. But, I remember thinking that he was too smart and that he would find out and I couldn’t risk it.. Odd isn’t it! I really didn’t understand my behavior or where those ideas and thoughts were coming from! But when those thoughts came into my mind, I didn’t question them either. Relationships with men were always strained and continued to be an issue throughout my life.

I left home the first time when I was about 16 years old. After three months I went back to finish high school. During that time and the years that followed, after high school graduation and my first term at Seattle University; I experienced many instances of lost time. Sometimes, I would find myself outside my home on Capital Hill in Seattle, just standing on the sidewalk, not remembering how or when I got there. I would be wearing the same clothes I had worn to work the day before. Many times I would wake up exhausted, sick, bruised and the most disturbing part of these events was to find bruises on the inside of my upper thighs. On both thighs, inside my upper legs I would often find 4 bruised finger prints on each leg.

Sometimes after one of these events I would become violently ill for many days with fevers and chills. I would be alone in my apartment throwing up, curled in a ball in the corner of the room in pain, which was associated with my female anatomy. My insides felt like they had been ripped apart or scraped out. I never experienced a regular menstrual cycle. Consequently, I was never able to assess when I would be fertile or when I would be able to prepare for that monthly event. Some times a menstrual cycle would not occur for many months.

Obviously, as a young girl I didn’t know what it felt like to be pregnant and yet I felt as if I was pregnant many times before I was 18 years old. I had not been sexually active. So, my confusion was beyond my understanding and my bodies physical and hormonal response were staggering. It only became clear to me what had been happening during those years, many years later, in my mid 40s….Then, finally it all came together and made sense. My life felt like a giant puzzle that had suddenly all come together, at once in a flash!

These perpetually invasive, aspects of  my sexual, female organs made it very difficult to accept any kind of intimacy. My Mother was raised Catholic and any talk about sexuality was inappropriate. Then, there was the chasm between myself and the rest of my family, which made it even more clear that I could not share anything about myself with anyone……

There was one particular event with a boyfriend. We parked at Lake Washington, not too far from my home. Then, we got out of the car and sat together on a rock, overlooking the water. I remember we were talking and suddenly a light appeared out of no where. I didn’t remember what had happened that night until many years later. But, the next thing I remembered was being back on the rock, several hours later. After that night I never wanted to see that boy again… I can’t say that I felt anger, exactly. But, there was something that bothered me when I saw or thought about him. I felt shame. I didn’t want to be near him ever again.

Still, having gone through these experiences without understanding for many years, you begin to doubt your own life experience and your sanity. If it hadn’t been for my study of spirituality through meditation and being with Maharishi and having the great opportunity to live with Gyaltrul Rinpoche, a Tibetan Lama, I do not know that I could have held my life together as well as I had, during my life before I Awakened….. 

These physical and sexual experiences were happening to me from a prepubescent age. While at the time these events took place, I was unaware. But when looking back, I can experience an awareness and cognition that my body needed to be adjusted and altered to accommodate the children/beings coming through my physical form, into this physical dimension. The Beings had begun to manipulate my ovaries and genetic material to accommodate the physical needs of the children/beings who would inevitably be using my DNA and my body as a vehicle to enter into this dimension.

Now, I am aware that my body was used to maintain a fetus/being for about two months and then the Beings would take the child and implant him/her into another human female, living here in this dimension. I became aware that I had been involved in the manufacture of numbers of human beings and their bodies, which enables the advanced levels of conscious these Beings live in, to become a critical part of the human evolutionary process.

Later in my life, I would just connect with someone on the street or at a lecture and in a flash, I would be able to see that person as a child that I am connected. The Beings would use sperm with my ova, to create many, many children in this dimension. It is clear that they needed to penetrate the physical dimension, existing here in time and space. Human evolution could not move forward unless it was blended with more advanced levels of consciousness, altering and later activating our DNA. Those more advanced levels of consciousness had to manifest in form, to raise consciousness and to be effective. Hence, we see the result of Starseeds with the potential to overcome the profound ignorance and sleep states inhabiting the population on this little planet.

The other interesting aspect to this recognition is that whether the person is young or old, I have the realization that time was not a factor. That is a person who is many years older than I could also carry the DNA from my physical structure. That is, the manipulation of my DNA was used to create human children, back in time, forward in time and at the present when it occurred.

One time my daughter was seeing an Astrologer. She was a sophomore in high school and she had a desire to meet with this Astrologer. The Astrologer was a lovely woman, small in stature, blonde with beautiful blue eyes. Often, I would drop my daughter off, run some errands and come back to pick her up. During one of these times, the Astrologer mentioned that she had a son. We were just chatting a bit after my daughters session. I asked her how old he was? A funny little smile came over her face and I wondered to myself what she was thinking. Then, she answered my question and began to say how attractive her son was, as she began to describe his physical appearance to me.

A couple of weeks later I was picking my daughter up from her “reading” and I needed to wait a bit longer, because they weren’t finished. So, I waited in the Astrologer’s living room. I sat down and looked at some books she had on her coffee table and as I flipped through the pictures of an art book, I heard the door open to the kitchen in the next room. The refrigerator door opened and I kind of giggled to myself… Then a young man walked into the living room. He was clearly surprised because he hadn’t been aware anyone was there. When I looked at him I almost passed out. He looked exactly like my daughter, except he was a younger boy, about 2 years younger than my daughter.

His hair was a dirty blonde with highlights from the Sun, just like my daughters. His eyes were a piercing, radiant blue, just like my daughters. His skin was a creamy white, just like my daughters. He had broad shoulders and stood about 5′ 8″ with a slight, but muscular build. Just to look at him, he could have been my Son.. Then the Astrologer and my daughter came into the room and she whispered to me, “He looks just like your daughter.” I agreed….Now I understood why she had that little smile on her face when she told me about her son.

There are other circumstances, which I have no interest in sharing at this point. Suffice it to say the feeling that came over me was not just about how he looked, but how he felt. He felt like he was my son. Now, at this point I had not yet gone through my Awakening and I didn’t remember the sexual aspects of my experiences with the Beings.

Maybe he was or maybe he wasn’t my child? However, the fact that this had been happening to me throughout my child-bearing years made these circumstances feasible. At the moment I saw this young man the possibility that he could be mine, easily was there in my mind, in a flash. I was  in my late 30s at the time and my menses had ceased by the time I was 32 years old, which is very unusual. So, even at that time, before the Beings told me who I was and what was happening, it was already in my conscious awareness without totally understanding why.

It didn’t seem to matter, why. It was the first response to a set of circumstances and I have found over the years that my first response is usually the best and clearest response to a set of variables. Still, on a conscious level I didn’t understand what was happening. As I look back on that day, I can see that instinctively I understood perfectly. Here is an instance where my body clearly had information it was attempting to share with my mind.

I understood when I became fully aware that there are many evolved, spiritually based Beings that need to come into this world in order to raise the consciousness on the physical level of this planet, to do the work. These needed a physical, human body that could be awakened, the DNA activated and tuned to the levels of frequencies needed to further enliven the Earth and humanity. I was aware, although at the time not consciously, that this was a part of the work many of us were sent here to accomplish, to make certain the transformation of consciousness could take hold on this planet..for all sentient beings and our precious Mother Earth.

So from a young age, while I may not have had full knowledge, there was a part of me that comprehended and understood what was happening. Still, these realities do not fit into our cultural “stories”. Life as you are taught in these physical worlds, is separate. Everything appears to be separate from itself. Consequently, things that are normal and natural to the Universe are foreign and distant to those who are not connected to the source of creation. They are not connected to their souls and they see all life as individual and separate. They often never even see their own contribution to their life’s experience.

Whereas, in the worlds I come from this is not the case. Everything that exists in action is involved in meeting the needs of the whole…There is no strife, no fear, no anger, hatred or confusion. Negative, base constructs arise from the perception of “Us & Them” or “Good & Bad”, duality. This level of consciousness only exists when there is no understanding or connection to the whole, to the source of creation.

Many people involved in this phenomenon, much like myself have to overcome the darkness and ignorance surrounding their enculturation, or upbringing. In this way they can recognize that these events are not invasive, wrong, evil, or terrifying. These events instead are a part of the process of our human evolution. 

The genetic material required enhancement, in order for humanity to move out of the Reptilian Brain or the level of consciousness that perpetuates fear and a sense of the need to survive. Instead, we all need to recognize that those elements have been long extinguished in most Western cultures. Still, humanity continues to hang on to the behaviors, because it has been engrained into our cellular structure and has been lived out, over and over again as an “habitual pattern”, both in our cells and in the neural pathways within our Brains.

For many of us who have had or live with these experiences, in just having a conversation with someone, anyone, regarding sexuality; we would find that there is no point of reference. What I mean is that we have the feelings, the awareness that something has or is going on of a sexual nature. We experience in our awareness something different from what is conventionally shared in our culture regarding sexuality and procreation. Consequently, more often than not we would experience a chasm between our perceptions and others regarding sexuality. In my mind at a very young age it was a fact of life. But, in this culture sex is relegated to a level of Ah…, which I found confusing and strange.

Spiritual Awakenings provide far more euphoric feelings and I find human sexuality as only a very small aspect  of what love truly is. Within meditative practices I have found similar euphoric experiences that provide a deeper, but different kind of connection and intimacy with the Universe.

It became quite clear to  me even as a child that I had to learn over time how to communicate to people in this culture. And that I needed to find the things that they felt were significant in order to connect with them. Then, I needed to realize the things in my life that were significant for me as a human being. I found that those two realities were often not the same. One might think that they should be? Unfortunately, I often found that the action of the people in the culture was divergent, to the precepts they “thought” they held.

Obviously, there were many things I was taught that I thought were relevant and appropriate in relationship to the ideas about life and human relationships. But, too often what I was taught was not how people lived. I realized that my thinking was different from my families and from what I saw happening in the society at large. There was a great deal of emphasis on competition and winning, which isn’t bad within itself, but is an empty reality to attach to, if you value creation.

Sexuality was something that was not to be talked about in my family. Yet, it was projected out into the culture in every possible way, through books, tv commercials, in schools and through the movies we saw. I could only wonder what the big deal was all about? Still, I wonder what the big deal is all about with sex in this culture? It seems more like a way to create distractions within human relationships. If your focus is always external there is very little time to develop deep and meaningful relationships. Maybe sex is the only way some people know how to connect with each other? But, I find that perception rather small-minded and shallow!

For myself, sexuality had layers of constructs attached to it.  When I was in the middle of living my life, busy with University studies, my family and making a living, I didn’t have the time to assess how those perceptions came to evolve inside myself. Except that the consequences for not finding resolution to these issues caused difficulties around my sexuality, impacting all my relationships. I was confronted with feelings of physical excitement, fear and confusion, which I had often thought about with concern and questions.

I could not remember how my sexual experiences came to be so convoluted and complicated. Nor could I understand how and when sexuality had become such an important parameter for mental health, as it seemed it was a big issue in this culture. Further, I did not understand all the hype around our sexuality. Sex seemed inconsequential but everyone made a big deal about it, causing me to question why?

Yet, it was very clear through my relationships that my physical responses that came from inside myself, were not only attracted by the feelings associated with sex, but I was simultaneously repulsed, feeling anger and maybe even rage.

I often felt these blends of emotions when I was beginning to be involved in a relationship. I couldn’t understand why the feelings were so diverse and at odds. I thought that maybe, subconsciously, I did not want to get involved because “involvement” could mean an end to “involvement”.  In other words as soon as a relationship began, I was seeing the traditional path many relationships seemed to travel, becoming habitual, boring and without sincere love.

Then, there would be a considerable amount of pain, if I had found myself having deep feelings for that person. It was easier for me to have brief encounters that did not require a commitment or any emotional involvement. I am not saying that this behavior was my norm. However, there was a time in my life where my behavior was not authentic or good for my soul. Maybe others wouldn’t have any issues, but with a Catholic mother, you can see the problem there…

We live in a society where sexuality is demeaned for women on the one hand and then female sexuality is projected everywhere through movies, TV, advertising, schools and throughout our culture. Both men and women, are assessed for their sexual acceptability, which is often based on appearance, dress and socio-economic status. Here in this dimension sexuality is paired with procreation and survival of the fittest. Women seem to be profoundly hard on each other, as to compete for the most ideal male specimens. Still, all these attributes are primarily external assets and part of the lowest levels of consciousness.

Further, there is the absurd expectation of sexual satisfaction for both genders. So both parties in a relationship are “expected” to perform. I couldn’t figure out why sexuality was such a huge determining factor, involved in decisions to mate? I was so ignorant apparently, I thought it should be about love. But that doesn’t seem to be exactly the way the culture operates, very often.

I learned at a very early age that what people said wasn’t necessarily connected to any truth. That is when they spoke about love, it ended up being more about hormones. And what people do in this society is not necessarily connected to what they think or say.  In fact, more often than not, what someone may say has nothing to do with their behavior, surrounding any particular intellectual, emotional or spiritual premise. But they absolutely believe themselves.

It seemed to me that our societies long-term and intimate relationships, are many times required to meet the standards of our parents, our culture, our religious training and our level of education. Essentially, our socio-economic status and background has a great deal to do with how we perceive sexuality and intimacy or mate driven relationships. For many women and men, these are the parameters that define our sexual behavior.

However, your gender specification and experience is projected out into the world and there are many factors that determine how that sexuality is expressed. For myself, like other sexually alive women, I was attracted but found the relationships that evolved were fraught with difficulties that soon became overwhelming, which would inevitably lead to their destruction.

After the initial excitement of meeting someone and becoming involved, I would begin to experience difficulties, often even before the relationship reached a point of intimacy. Just the mere expectation of intimacy was often so overwhelming that I would not pursue any kind of relationship for long periods of time in my life when I was single.

The difficulty would eventually express itself in retreating from that person, to avoid complications and into a comfortable place where I could keep intimate relationships out. There was a sense that I was not allowed to get involved or have long-term meaningful relationships. Obviously, I did not understand where these feelings and perceptions were coming from at the time. But, when the Beings finally made themselves known to me, all of these things became very clear.

When I did get involved in an intimate relationship, it did not take too long before I reached a point where I did not want or like to be touched. Knowing this was an issue, I attempted therapy with a psychologist. I didn’t just see one therapist over the course of my life, I went to maybe three people to help me determine what my issues were. I studied early childhood education, psychology, counseling, neuroscience and I worked in the mental health field. So, it wasn’t like I just let it all be what it was, I tried to understand what was happening to me based on my cultural perceptions, which did not work very well, at all.

Part of these studies were to become a better Mother because my daughter did not come with a manual and I felt lost most of the time as a parent. But, I also felt that if I could better understand myself, I would be a better Mother,  Wife and Person. So, I made a career out of understanding the way the mind works, through neuroscience and other social sciences. I wanted to understand how our mind, heart and soul deals with loss, abuse and other traumatic issues that we all go through within our lives.

The only knowledge that I gained throughout my life that made any real sense to me were the teachings from Maharishi and the Tibetan Lamas, or Hinduism and Buddhism. Otherwise, the information and learning in psychology was established in the intellectual mind, the thinking mind. There is an inherent lack of understanding of the true underlying issues within psychology and other mental health studies. Not that it is without information that can be useful, because there is useful knowledge within those academic studies. It is just that it may only be intellectual and this can fool people into thinking that they know.

However, all knowledge without heart or soul does not have wisdom. You cannot learn empathy or compassion from a book or studies at University. These are qualities that are inherent and inside a human being, which can be cultivated, but you cannot learn those attributes through a book or on an intellectual level. They come from human experience and a keen desire to help others. They involve experience and the knowledge one gains throughout their life.

These concerns in the mental health profession are not separate from intimacy, in that, if you cannot connect with someone on a heart level there is no hope to have a satisfying intimate, sexual relationship.

This kind of underlying awareness is left to the clinician to find within themselves. It is not found in education or in academic institutions. There is very little, if any, information or studies at University related to the development of consciousness and evolution. I have found that many clinicians do not have the spiritual or soul knowledge necessary to impart wisdom, or to even be relevant and effective with their clients or patients. Consequently, many clinicians are profoundly incapable of meeting the needs of others.

I really did not understand the big deal around relationships here in this culture. In the East Indian cultures they have arranged marriages, (I am not suggesting everyone do that.) based on something other than hormones or the ridiculous “feelings” one has of being “in love” or “falling in love” and all the cultural goofiness that is attendant with those relationships. I have had them and they are fun! But for a lasting, long-term relationship they are not necessarily sustainable.

People in this culture seem to think that relationships should be about music and romance, like the movies… Well, those precepts are just in the movies. They have nothing to do with real love. A love that has no basis in friendship or other attributes that truly define real, lasting love, is not love. 

I was very clear from the onset that these children that had been created through the use of my genetic material were in the human form. I understood that the Beings had used the sperm of men, some men that I had known and they had manipulated my ova, adding genetic material to create a human being with “their” potential or what would be designated as “Starseeds” by many in this culture.

There was definitely a part of me that completely understood. I knew that this was the only way to alter the direction of humanity and to change humankind into a more conscious and aware species. It was as if I comprehended completely all the ramifications, the science and the incredible benefit to humankind through the manipulation, in changing the DNA to utilize all of it available in the human body. Thereby, the human species could gain the ability to tap into vast amounts of knowledge and awareness within this Universe.

Yes, there was the shock of it all and then there was a sense of peace and understanding. I knew that I had agreed to this prior to entering into this dimension. I actually came into this dimension with the intention to propagate a new human species, to advance humanity.

In order to continue living here on this planet, I had desperately needed to come into an awareness of these things that I had struggled with throughout my entire life. And here I finally found the peace that comes from within and from knowing the truth.

At this point, I am certain that there are many people who might read this and have an intense emotional reaction, opinion or even a violent response to the sharing of this information. But, it seems as though there are others out there, like myself, who have lived through these experiences and may feel the same frustration and alienation from the culture at large as I have felt my entire life. Here a Western trained Freudian clinician would scream “mental illness”.

This knowledge of our clinical community is eloquently pointed out by Dr. Rauni Kilde within the following video! She discusses the DSM IV and its irrelevance. She also eludes to the fact that if anyone was to share information such as this, or even discuss recognizing Beings from other realities that they would be diagnosed with Schizophrenia or a Personality Disorder. Yet, Dr. John Mack, a psychiatrist found that the Alien Abductees he worked with, who had been diagnosed with those mental diseases, were NOT MENTALLY ILL.

 Mind Control with Dr. Rauni Kilde Part 1 52:03 Bases 5 Part 1 Mind Control with Rauni Kilde Mind Control Specialist, Retired Chief Medical Officer for Finland and author Dr. Rauni Kilde has been at the fore front.

According to recent studies it has been suggested the 90% of the population of Canada has been diagnosed with mental illness. Anti-depressant pills are handed out like candy by the doctors here in America, Canada, Ireland and throughout the Western World. So I think that speaks to how far off the clinical community is in addressing and/or even understanding the mental health of a human being. Essentially, there is something really off in our cultures if all these people are popping pills to make it through their lives….Who is benefiting from all this illness? Certainly, not human beings!

Maybe within the Alien Abduction Phenomena there are so many issues that one cannot discern what is completely true?  But I do not believe that the mental health community has any real knowledge or can contribute to the well-being of humankind, according to the studies I have seen and the research I have done throughout my life. According to the research, people who have issues and go to a therapist are just as likely to work through their issues in the same time period without treatment as they are with treatment. And you can look it up. This was a research study in psychological to assess the value of therapy. The value of therapy is still questionable.

The amazing thing about having an incredible brain and an amazing Nervous System, is that your body and mind remembers everything. When I finally reached comprehension about  my experiences, through my own experiences, no one and I mean no one, could tell me that I experienced something, this way or that way; when in truth I absolutely know with certainty and without question, what I have experienced.

I know……that I have experienced Alien Abduction with the accompanying sexual and reproductive intrusions that are usually considered a part of this phenomenon and part of the “Constellation of Experiences” associated with this phenomenon.

My experience is that the genetic manipulation of humanity is a part of this phenomenon and has been since the beginning of our inception on this planet. The reproductive aspects I have shared are also a part of this phenomenon as suggested by almost all of those who are willing to share these events with others. It was first acknowledged by those who were brave enough to share their experiences. The difficulty comes from that fact that our society and clinical professionals, attribute pathology to these kinds of perceptions and experiences.

I feel that these things need to be said, especially in a puritanical and yet profoundly sexualized culture. Those of us who have been raised in Western cultures find that these experiences create feelings of shame, fear and confusion. Experiencers/Alien Abductees are experiencing these events on more levels than can be comprehended by the limited consciousness that many bump up against when confronted with the truth.

Initially, we may understand these events but our enculturation has engrained, deep within our cells the perception that these kinds of experiences do not happen. Therefore, you must be insane, mentally insufficient with a personality disorder or some other such diagnosis. Apparently, the culture we live in never needs to grow or change with new information and facts.


I have heard about the concept of Hybrids for years. But, I have never spent too much of my life, involved in the Ufo and Alien Abduction world. I have never felt very compelled to be a part of that world. Being an Experiencer/Alien Abductee and having a background in spirituality, I didn’t feel drawn to be a part of that community. Further after speaking and attending some of the conventions in the 90’s, it felt counter to what I was experiencing and what I understood! So, my  perception of what a Hybrid was, was defined as: including a combination of genetic material contributed by a human or humans with the inclusion of Alien or Extraterrestrial genetic material, to create a human being with greater potential.

I never looked at it as wrong or right or good or bad, which is, it seems, how many Ufologists see this phenomenon. Again, I can only say, “Wow”! That is not my world or how I experience life!

However, recently I read that the definition of a Hybrid only indicated a Reptilian Entity and a Human Being. I was surprised that this was the definition because I had assumed that it included any or all Alien/Extraterrestrial life that had been genetically altered with human DNA. My definition of the term Hybrid, includes all Alien/Extraterrestrial entities and their involvement with humanity on Earth.

Unfortunately, we humans like to separate everything to its complete and utter demise!

I do not ever remember being asked to hold or touch children who appeared as something “In between” their world and ours, not that I see this as a bad thing, at all. While I did read descriptions of the children that others had seen in their visions or experiences with these Alien/Extraterrestrial Races, I had never had that kind of experience myself. The only thing I would consider close to this type of experience was remembering the Beings showing me an amazing child.

This exquisite little girl, looked to be around 4 or 5 years old. I experienced this vision at 16 years of age and 9 years later I gave birth to my one and only child, an incredibly beautiful and highly intelligent daughter who at 5 years old looked exactly like the little girl they showed me.

Seeing children as described in some of the books about Alien Abduction was interesting, but I only remember my body and/or ova, was used to create human beings who look exactly like all  of us. After many years of remembering these experiences and the time I share with these Beings, I know that I have never been involved in the manufacture of those entities who look like they are “In Between”, only Human Beings.

You might think this is all very shocking. But, what was more shocking for me personally was  the influx of hormones, going in and out of pregnancies. Also, carrying the memory inside my body, my cells and my subconscious of all those physical manipulations, which had to occur for the successful manifestation of another human being. I had the memories inside my body for all those years without any understanding, on a conscious level, just what had been happening.

Believe me, I knew something was happening to my physical body because my hormones would go crazy. But I did not know on a conscious level what had been happening until the Beings came for me at age 44 and allowed me to SEE, KNOW and UNDERSTAND everything!  

By Joy S. Gilbert